We hold onto hope

Sometimes things get a little awkward or weird. We are presented with fresh starts that don't feel so fresh. The same problems arise and yet. We hold onto hope. People meet our checklists they are total sweet hearts we love them to death and we think we have a good idea of the people they will be one day. Sometimes we can't get everything we want right now and so we hold onto hope that we will get everything we want someday. See everyone looks for that everyday guarantee that feeling that makes us anxious to get up and then happy to dream at night. We wake up hoping that the day will be filled with something awesome and that we might find a way to really make a difference. Sometimes it's hard to keep our minds set that not everything happens now or the way we see it. It happens as others see fit, we try to keep control but instead of controlling we just hold onto hope that those who we've allowed to help control our paths will not hurt us will not misguide us and not mislead us into believing something we shouldn't. So many times as humans we tell ourselves that we cannot go for another minute feeling the way that we do that there is too much hurt and too much pain, but we hold onto hope and that's what keeps us going. We find those little moments and that's what we hold onto the moments that inspire us, the keep us youthful, and adventurous. We hope because that's all we can do. Our pain makes us appreciate our happiness and the bad experiences helps us see the best in the good. We can learn to make light of situations because we realize things just really aren't as bad as we've made them out to be. We are hopeful because we are human and sometimes all we can do is just hold onto that hope.

didn't proofread:)

Rainy Weather

Day 2 of this rainy weather.... I would not exactly call this holiday weekend kind of weather.  but Oh well... going to make the best of this day. In the last 2 years rainy weather has come to symbolize something very significant to me. When my grandmother passed away in December of 2009, I lost one of the most influential women in my life. But she has not left me, nor will she ever. Many days like today I just go through the motions I see the rain and I don't think anything of it. Other days I know it's her tears crying with me, and often the rain is her sending her strength to me, and when I celebrate it rains so she can celebrate with me. Call me crazy but I believe that the rain is her in my life. I did not just make this up... in her will she wrote, "I loved the rain, sitting out watching it on the porch, I love it's peace and it's beauty, how it makes you feel alive just to feel it on your skin, when it rains think of me." My family has lived by this. On some of my weakest days it rains and I cannot help but smile and say, "Thanks Grams," because in one way or another it's her showing she is here.
So when it rains even though it means beach goers might miss the sun for a day and so will I don't really mind it too much at all cause I can just think of her and smile.
This weekend has taught me something already. Yesterday I was walking around in Kohl's imagine that... Annah walking around being a product of consumerism. (I can proudly say I didn't buy anything though) and just saying to myself when we expect too much we always get to little, but when we expect little we end up with all we ever need. I've realized how much expectation I have and how I set the bar incredibly high, but doing so only ever leads to my disappointment. Yesterday was different though after continuously telling myself that I had a great surprise:) It was a great night!
Last night,  I learned that even though I have a camera that I love, that sometimes the memories that will be most engrained upon or hearts are the ones we didn't get pictures for but wish we did. The reason the moments without pictures are so special is because they are the moments that take our breathe away, when we just live in the moment not thinking about how it will end but just literally living for that second in time. It's definitely the little things , the moments we create and that are created for us. I know I certainly lived in the moment and for the first time in a long time I have a smile that I cannot wipe away:) I'm so happy today, so I say let it rain Grams.

P.S. I'm hoping to improve my though processes as I go a long. I feel like I'm a very confusing person to follow and I'm almost 100% sure if you actually took the time to read this you found it to be jumpy. I don't know. God Bless You and the little moments:)

Well Here Goes Nothing

Some of us get caught up in the little moments and some in the big picture. We all see life through a different kind of lens. Throughout our journey we try to broaden our view by seeing life through the eyes of another. When we open our hearts and try to see things through others perspective we are able to shape ourselves over and over again.
As we try to see things as others do we experience change, we get that burning desire to become better and as a result of that change and desire to be better; we grow.
As we grow we learn how to treat others and to give them what they deserve and in treating others with respect and loving with a servant heart. We learn the true meaning of why we're really here... We learn our purpose and we are able to see ourselves more clearly. By definition we become exactly who we are, because we are living life to the fullest.

Sometimes I struggle to live moment by moment and day by day, but I know that it is the only way you can live. Nothing is guaranteed in life. People change, friends go away, new opportunities arise and we sometimes take a path we never expected we would. The point is we have to follow our own paths, it's easy to look at our loved ones and tell ourselves that because they have chosen a direction that it must be ours too. NO! The best thing anyone of us can do is pursue or passions be the leader of our own path and realize that the people that are supposed to be there will. As the path unfolds we must take one step at a time keeping our hearts set and our minds ready for the future, but keeping focused on what it takes to reach our destination. Which can only happen one step and one day at a time.
Recently I was told a really awesome quote, "The journey is the destination" the truth is we don't know our destination, but if we have an idea of who we want to be whenever it is that we get there then we must stay true to ourselves, and open our hearts to new ideas.

No one is perfect, no one can give 100% everyday to everyone but for the sake of the journey always give 100% to yourself, try to be happy everyday life is too short to spend it upset.

So get out there  and see that its the little moments by far that make us who we really are :)