Rainy Weather

Day 2 of this rainy weather.... I would not exactly call this holiday weekend kind of weather.  but Oh well... going to make the best of this day. In the last 2 years rainy weather has come to symbolize something very significant to me. When my grandmother passed away in December of 2009, I lost one of the most influential women in my life. But she has not left me, nor will she ever. Many days like today I just go through the motions I see the rain and I don't think anything of it. Other days I know it's her tears crying with me, and often the rain is her sending her strength to me, and when I celebrate it rains so she can celebrate with me. Call me crazy but I believe that the rain is her in my life. I did not just make this up... in her will she wrote, "I loved the rain, sitting out watching it on the porch, I love it's peace and it's beauty, how it makes you feel alive just to feel it on your skin, when it rains think of me." My family has lived by this. On some of my weakest days it rains and I cannot help but smile and say, "Thanks Grams," because in one way or another it's her showing she is here.
So when it rains even though it means beach goers might miss the sun for a day and so will I don't really mind it too much at all cause I can just think of her and smile.
This weekend has taught me something already. Yesterday I was walking around in Kohl's imagine that... Annah walking around being a product of consumerism. (I can proudly say I didn't buy anything though) and just saying to myself when we expect too much we always get to little, but when we expect little we end up with all we ever need. I've realized how much expectation I have and how I set the bar incredibly high, but doing so only ever leads to my disappointment. Yesterday was different though after continuously telling myself that I had a great surprise:) It was a great night!
Last night,  I learned that even though I have a camera that I love, that sometimes the memories that will be most engrained upon or hearts are the ones we didn't get pictures for but wish we did. The reason the moments without pictures are so special is because they are the moments that take our breathe away, when we just live in the moment not thinking about how it will end but just literally living for that second in time. It's definitely the little things , the moments we create and that are created for us. I know I certainly lived in the moment and for the first time in a long time I have a smile that I cannot wipe away:) I'm so happy today, so I say let it rain Grams.

P.S. I'm hoping to improve my though processes as I go a long. I feel like I'm a very confusing person to follow and I'm almost 100% sure if you actually took the time to read this you found it to be jumpy. I don't know. God Bless You and the little moments:)